Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
