butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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