She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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