i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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