Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
