Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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