The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
