you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
