Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
