I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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