weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We just shotgunned beers for America
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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