Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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