Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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