if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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