I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
