Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
