who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
