I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
