big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
