Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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