Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
