does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
