My liver just broke up with me...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
