Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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