So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
