Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
