You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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