i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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