and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
