My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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