I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
