the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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