I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
