ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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