HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
