As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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