All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
