Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
