if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
