Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
