Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i drank out of a bidet.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
