We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
