apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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