Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
