WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
