ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
