im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
