Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Green mimosas i think yes
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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