She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
love makes seman taste better
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
