well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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